Don’t be quick to judge

Posted on August 7, 2014 by karenevoss

A recent Dear Abby post (from Tuesday, August 5, 2014) reminded me of something I wrote in That’s All I Got. The lady who wrote to Dear Abby mentioned that no one outside her immediate family knew she suffered from depression or a suicide attempt.

When Russ and I were dating and then married, we never shared the information about Russ’ mental illnesses with anyone in my family. We wanted Russ treated without judgement, as a regular person and not someone seen as a victim or a special case. This was our mutual decision.

After Russ died and the details started to emerge, I heard or maybe asked about why we didn’t tell and that maybe they could have helped. My first thought was: How? Can you take the illnesses away? When I gave the reason behind not telling, I heard, we wouldn’t have done that (meaning judged him based on him having bipolar disorder and auditory hallucinations). Really? It’s 2014, everyone is quick to judge. How many times have you heard about someone committing (completed is the correct term) suicide and thinking they’re crazy when in reality they suffered from a mental illness known or unknown to someone else. I used to do this myself until suicide affected me. Can you say the same? Do you want to?

Think about it. Don’t be quick to judge.

Overcoming

Posted on July 9, 2014 by karenevoss

Ask anyone how they grieve and you’ll receive a different response every time. There’s no wrong or right way to mourn the loss of a loved one or friend. The best thing you can do revolves around taking time to grieve; some people don’t and that’s when moving forward turns into feeling stuck in wet cement or quicksand. It took me over two years to reach “acceptance” the final stage of the grieving process. With the proper support and grief/trauma counseling, I moved forward. I thrived.

In a recent episode of Extreme Weight Loss on ABC, the person whose life required transforming is the widow of an Army soldier who completed suicide as he dealt with PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) after a deployment to Afghanistan. Their adopted son deals with PTSD after his dad ended his life. This lady never took the time to grieve for her husband. She hid her pain and turned to food as a way of coping. While I don’t know first hand how to deal with PTSD from serving in the military, I do have an understanding of what PTSD is since I received treatment for it following my husbands completion of suicide. One does not treat PTSD on their own; treatment exists and one can recover from it under the proper care, but it does take time. While you reduce the trauma, symptoms can linger for years to come. There’s much information about PTSD and while I won’t approach it more on here, I’ll do so in another post.

I’ve included the link to the episode of Extreme Weight Loss I mentioned.

Extreme Weight Loss, Melissa’s Journey

In two months…

Posted on May 26, 2014 by karenevoss

In the last two months, my book has slowly found its way into the world. That’s All I Got can be sold online through Henschel Haus Books as a paperback and Amazon.com as a paperback and e-book in Kindle format. I’ve also sold them personally as paperbacks.

I’ve held book signings during a Higher Brain Living meetup, at my friends’ house, twice at my local YMCA, and twice during monthly church dinners. I’ve sold single copies to my neighbors and a few friends. In a way, I’ve partnered with Udana Yoga and Wellness to sell a few copies there (I’ll be having a book signing event here in the near future). I’ve gifted a copy to my cousin at a funeral home. More recently, I sold a copy at the cemetery on my husband’s 45th birthday (this is and isn’t the unlikeliest spot to reacquaint with an old friend & finding out she hadn’t found a way yet to buy the book.

These opportunities mark only the beginning. A couple of places (and soon more): Barnes & Noble Corporate Offices and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) have been sent review copies to review and approve. Once approved, opportunities follow. Barnes & Noble can then carry the paperback in stores (you can already order it online). I’m waiting on AFSP to approve so I can possibly have the book used a resource for various programs related to suicide and bereavement (relative to suicide or tragedy). This way the book can reach more people and help more lives…either to inspire or heal.

Suicide & Mental Health

Posted on May 4, 2014 by karenevoss

A Chicago Fire episode (A Heavy Weight aired 4/15/14) touched on something that people deal with everyday, though often not talked about, the loss of someone to suicide. It’s not just portrayed for TV, it happens in real life. They touched on not seeing the signs, but there aren’t always signs shown; I know this from personal experience. The person referred to suffered from a mental illness, depression, which no one knew about except her family (so someone said). People can hide symptoms, to a point, and even those seeking treatment don’t always live well enough to win the battle of the mind.

How many people know that May is Mental Health Awareness Month?

I’m sharing information I received in an email from the Mental Health America of Wisconsin along with their resources for proper crediting. You can find the entire article by going to: Mental Health America of Wisconsin mental health month newsletter.

Key Statistics
- Nearly 1-in-5 Americans over age 18 will experience a diagnosable mental health disorder in a given year (1), and nearly half will experience a mental health disorder in their lifetime (2).
- Approximately 70% of Americans experience physical and non-physical symptoms of stress, but only 37% think they are doing very well at managing stress.(3)
- More than 2/3 of American adults are either obese or overweight. (4)
- One in six Americans over age 18 binge drink. Excessive drinking (binge drinking and heavy drinking) causes approximately 80,000 deaths each year.(5)
- Nearly half (48%) of Americans report not getting enough sleep, with women feeling so more than men. (6)
- While it is estimated that approximately half of US adults use supplements, only 23% of supplements used were recommended by a health care professional. (7)
- Relationships and social connections are important. Low level of social interaction was found to have an impact on lifespan equivalent to smoking nearly a pack of cigarettes a day or being an alcoholic, and was twice as harmful as being obese. (8)
- Half of American adults do not get the recommended amounts of aerobic and muscle-strengthening exercise. (9)

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, Center for Behavioral Health Statistics and Quality. (February 28, 2014). The NSDUH Report: State Estimates of Adult Mental Illness from the 2011 and 2012 National Surveys on Drug Use and Health. Rockville, MD.
Kessler RC, Berglund PA, Demler O, Jin R, Walters EE. Lifetime prevalence and age-of-onset distributions of DSM-IV disorders in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication (NCS-R).
American Psychological Association. (2012) Impact of Stress. [Online] [Accessed on 27th March 2014] http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2012/impact-report.pdf.
Flegal KM, Carroll MD, Kit BK, Ogden CL. Prevalence of obesity and trends in the distribution of body mass index among US adults, 1999-2010.JAMA. 2012;307:491-7.
http://www.cdc.gov/vitalsigns/BingeDrinking/index.html
The Better Sleep Council. (April 2013) Survey: Americans know how to get better sleep-but don’t act on it. [Online] [Accessed on 27th March 2014] http://bettersleep.org/better-sleep/the-science-of-sleep/sleep-statistics-research/better-sleep-survey/
Bailey RL, Gahche JJ, Miller PE, Thomas RP, Dwyer JT. Why US adults use dietary supplements. JAMA. 2013;173(5):355-61.
Holt-Lunstad J, Smith TB, Layton JB (2010) Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review. PLoS Med 7(7): e1000316. doi:10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316
Schoenborn CA, Adams PF, Peregoy JA. Health behaviors of adults: United States, 2008–2010. National Center for Health Statistics. Vital Health Statistics 10(257). 2013.

Break the stigma. Mental illness is for real. Suicide is for real. Become educated and talk about it. You might be that person who saves a life or reaches out for saving. Don’t be the one who asks, Why?

PUBLISHED!

Posted on March 28, 2014 by karenevoss

I AM AN AUTHOR!

That’s All I Got
Thrival: A Widow’s Journey After Suicide
by Karen E Voss

After many hours, weeks, and months of writing, editing, and revising, the day has arrived where I can hold the finished book in my hands. I received the first copy gift wrapped, it’s a present after all, a dream that has come true.

Published Author

First Copy

Now available for Kindle!

Posted on March 19, 2014 by karenevoss

I’m published for Kindle!

I didn’t think this occurred until the paperback became available. Not true since it showed up last night. I knew yesterday afternoon that it had been making its journey to Amazon. I looked for it last night and saw it, but I didn’t choose to share it until this morning when more people would see my posting on Facebook.

It’s exciting that’s for sure. I’m full of energy and in a very good mood. I can only imagine what I’ll be like when I’m holding the paperback copy in my hands.

That’s All I Got on Kindle

Speedy Progression

Posted on March 6, 2014 by karenevoss

The past week brought about lots of activity.

Lots of emails exchanged between reviewers, my publisher, and myself.
Lots of hours logged at my laptop–reading the entire book, responding, and some typing.

The final stages of getting That’s All I Got published have drawn closer. It’s one of speedy progression. No wonder I’ve been having odd dreams and restless sleep hours.

Progress at its best included:
*Receiving, prepping, and submitting reviews
*Receiving, posting, and sharing the pre-orders link
*Approving book marketing post-cards
*Rejecting and after changes approving the full book cover
*Receiving round 3 of proofs, editing, and submitting corrections…does this ever cease?
Someone told me that corrections never cease. I pray that they do.

So much happening…

Posted on February 4, 2014 by karenevoss

In less than a week, so much has changed.

*I acquired another person to read and review for publication.
*I received the 2nd proofs and I had them printed and bound through my jobs print center.
*I’ve handed two of these copies out and emailed the PDF files to two other people.
*The date of publication has moved up by a month to the end of March.
*I booked the first of many (I hope) book signings!

Decisions, decisions

Posted on January 9, 2014 by karenevoss

Who knew that when publishing a book, there’d be lots of decisions? From deciding on a book cover to choosing photos that require involvement in the book and that’s just now. First I had to decide if I liked the layout and fonts, chosen specifically for this book (or maybe not). It’s not just the design and layout.

While I’m working through my editing phase, I note that I have to choose chapter titles so they aren’t the generic chapter 1, chapter 2, etc. I’ll have to idea generate as I read through the chapters to decide on what to write.

For months and I mean many months, ideas on where to take my book once published keep arriving in my mind or through others. From bookstores to various cities for example, Big Rapids, MI where I went to school, are on the list. That’s All I Got has a home in Milwaukee, WI and the list of ideas grows monthly. Pretty cool, but then my brain tells me how much work this might be, but do I let it discourage me? Nope.

I had to choose people to review the book before it’s published. Each person I asked plays a different position in my journeys course and each one knows different parts of my progress, though none of them know the entire story. I’m thankful that each person excitedly agreed to read the book ahead of time and give a short review that will appear on the back cover.

A task given to me involved searching and choosing photos from our engagement, wedding, and honeymoon. The suggestion was six photos so I have nine. I had to decide which head shot photo to use. I had four retouched and from there I chose one for the book and the others for the blog and Facebook pages.

Lots of decisions made and more to come as the book progresses forward. Each detail has numerous pieces and each part has numerous ideas. I’m sure the most fun involves marketing and promoting. Keeping it simple, real, and cost-effective even though it could prove challenging. I’m up for the difficult tasks that arise.

Excitement in the Air

Posted on December 22, 2013 by karenevoss

If you’ve ever waited for something big to occur, then you know the feelings that go along with it. While excitement builds, other feelings play into it. To say I’m giddy and hyped up would definitely be an understatement. Each time I share details of my book progress, my grin appears bigger and my eyes wider. I receive ideas from things I read and from speaking with people.

The other night at an event, someone asked me what comes to mind when I hear the word passion. My immediate response: writing. When asked more about it and why, I had a mouthful to share. I want my thoughts conveyed through writing to inspire others. I want to shed light to people at the end of a very dark tunnel after suicide or any tragedy; it’s the purpose of my book. I want to help others at a personal level.

It’s exciting to feel momentum build knowing I can help many.

That's All I Got!

Thrival: A Widow's Journey After Suicide

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