Category Archives: Thrive!

Be Aware…of your mental health

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Every May “Mental Health Awareness Month” receives recognition. It raises awareness to mental health in all aspects. According to MentalHealth.gov, “mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. Mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood.”

Wouldn’t it be wise to make every month about mental health awareness?

In the past year or so, our mental health took a toll thanks to a pandemic where people were forced to stay in and stay home from everything including work and school (in most cases). Stress became something a lot more people had to deal with due to factors that couldn’t be controlled. A few times, I’ve brought up dealing with stress and I had questions posed to me that resembled: what stress? what do you have to stress about? It’s as if stress wasn’t welcomed in my life. Yet, I’ve had to manage my mental health, physical health issues, financial struggles, and anything else that pulls at my life. Stress affects everyone at some time in their life; there’s no set rules on who’s allowed to have stress- whether or not they have a family of their own; if they’re dating or not; if they own a home, live in an apartment or are homeless; if they have a job or two or none, etc.

Not everyone had/has the ability to work on their mental health professionally due to access, cost, and other factors. I am one of the luckier people who had and continues to have access.

A stigma continues to surround mental health as well as mental illness and the completion or attempt of suicide. Suicide rates continue to be high along with depression and other mental illnesses, and yet people hesitate to talk about it. I admit that I only talk in detail to certain people about my mental health (outside of my health providers) and a few that I know I can confide in. It does get easier as I continue to learn, work through, and grow what all of me deals with. No one handles life issues like the next person so it’s important to speak to a professional who listens, encourages feedback, provides insight, guides you with strategies and makes you do your homework. I have such a person in my life; she’s definitely someone I can trust.

I am aware of my mental health daily.
I know people and places exist to assist with my mental health.
I know that seeing a therapist doesn’t mean I’m weak.
I know sometimes one requires meds with their treatment and that’s OK.
I know problems can’t always be worked out alone.
I know that asking for help gives me strength.
I know life won’t always be this way.
I know I can always reach out.

Mental Health 2020

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This past year has been like no other I’ve experienced. In October 2019, I found out my full-time job was being eliminated in 30 days; it was a week after closing on a cash refinance for the house with intentions to pay down debt and purchase a new car. Needless to say, I became stressed and full of anxiety over how I was going to pay the bills, find a new job, get a new car before mine went kaput, and all the other worries that accompany a job loss. Within a few weeks, I ended up at my physician’s office with a weird rash or hives and it turns out it was related to stress; I had shared the upheaval in my life. She provided two recommendations/forms of treatment to help with a stressful period of time. It only took me until the next morning to decide I would take her up on both. One treatment would be a temporary prescription and the other is on-going talk therapy. I realized early on that I should have taken up her second suggestion years prior and then maybe I could have handled life better, but as a friend told me, “you’re getting help now”. Yes, I am. One of my assigned homework tasks was to read my own book: That’s All I Got! Thrival: A Widow’s Journey After Suicide and I did. It brought back memories and feelings that I haven’t experienced in a long time.

Little did I know there would be a big challenge in my job hunt—the Covid-19 Pandemic, where employers stopped recruiting. Luckily, in May a job I had originally applied for in March, started their hiring process again and I acquired a new job that started three weeks later. Phew! Life is better although there are a few challenges I had to work out. Throughout this series of trials, I have learned so much more about mental health and not only my own.

The year 2020 tests everyone and mental health is taking its toll on people. From job losses to income reduction to being cooped up indoors to mask-wearing to the worries that accompany businesses reopening. All of that leads some to pursue the inevitable: taking their lives to the completion of suicide. The one event that brings together our community to help prevent suicide, to educate, and to support those of us who have a connection to suicide loss won’t be happening in person (as a large gathering) this year. The Milwaukee Out of the Darkness Walk has gone virtual. While they’ve changed it to an experience rather than coming together as a group, it’s not the same. This year, we need to be stronger to support those who might be struggling. Won’t you help me raise funds to help everyone in the coming year and beyond? Your contribution may help save lives as AFSP strives to educate and prevent lives lost while getting others the treatments needed for our mental health.

https://afsp.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&participantID=2324846
Walking foRuss/Karen Voss Team donation page

5 Star Review!

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5star-shiny-hr

 

In June, I signed up to participate in the 2018 Readers’ Favorite International Book Award Contest. Today, I was notified that my book has finished its review and received a 5 star rating (in all five criteria). The review is listed below.

BOOK REVIEW

Reviewed by Mamta Madhavan for Readers’ Favorite

That’s All I Got! Thrival: A Widow’s Journey After Suicide by Karen E. Voss is the author’s poignant and heartbreaking memoir as she shares her pain through the book and gives readers an intimate look into her life of grief, loss, and betrayal. The book sheds light on the daily struggles of those living with mental illness, and those who deal with the effects of loving and living with someone who has mental illness. The author speaks about reaching out for help during her days of struggles, and how it is possible to live an extraordinary life again. Her journey after her husband Russ’s suicide will touch the hearts of readers in many ways. Her story is one of pain, grief, betrayal, survival, thrival, hope, and recovery.

The author’s words are not only about her trauma and pain; she gives a good perception to readers about what it takes when it comes to living and dealing with people with mental illness. She speaks about her life extensively and intimately, and her moments of despair and difficult times are palpable. The book reaches out to readers through the author’s words and prayers and she calls herself a ‘thriver’, a warrior moving forward after tragedy, instead of a survivor. The book also sheds light on the alternate and holistic types of healing and well being that are helpful when it comes to treating mental illness. Stories like this will touch the hearts of readers – and many of them will be able to connect with the author’s pain and tragedy – but will also help them overcome their trauma and get on with their lives.

 

Post-Traumatic Growth

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“I believe that you can have post-traumatic growth. You can find greater meaning.” -Sheryl Sandburg

I read the above quote in the article, “Finding Strength” in Great Loss” from the May 2017 issue of Redbook Magazine. The only other times I have seen the words post-traumatic have been during references of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). Post-traumatic growth refers to growth after trauma and following grief. While I haven’t used the words, I too have experienced post-traumatic growth.

In December 2017, nine years passed since my husband completed suicide. Due to the traumatic events, I dealt with, worked through, and overcame PTSD. Since then I have persevered. With tools and resources to assist, I THRIVED!

In order to thrive, one must be able to work through their troubled waters. With the support of family, friends, a wellness team, my faith, keeping physically active, and other programs, I navigated the rough waters and arrived safely to shore. The tools I gathered along the way continue to fuel my journey of thrival.

“There’s bound to be rough waters and I know I’ll take a fall, but with the Good Lord as my captain, I’ll make it through it all”. -“The River”, Garth Brooks

Published Again!

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Thanks to Project Semicolon that chose to publish this book:

 

with Harper Collins, I’m published once again. Project Semicolon called out for contributors to share their story in the book Project Semicolon: Your Story Isn’t Over gearing towards 18-25 yr olds, ages where people are more susceptible to mental illness and contemplating suicide.

For those who know me, know that I’ve been on a journey after losing my husband to the completion of suicide as a result of mental illness. I’m happy to share my story because my motto states: “if I can help one person then I know I’m doing my job.” My story appears within the pages 18-19 of the Project Semicolon book. It shows my name and lists the story as “In Memoriam.”

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Please consider purchasing this book for anyone you know who might find it useful and want to discover stories of courage, strength, and perseverance. Because like the ; stands for; their stories aren’t over yet.

Published Again!

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Thanks to Project Semicolon that chose to publish this book:

with Harper Collins, I’m published once again. Project Semicolon called out for contributors to share their story in the book Project Semicolon: Your Story Isn’t Over gearing towards 18-25 yr olds, ages where people are more susceptible to mental illness and contemplating suicide.

For those who know me, know that I’ve been on a journey after losing my husband to the completion of suicide as a result of mental illness. I’m happy to share my story because my motto states: “if I can help one person then I know I’m doing my job.” My story appears within the pages 18-19 of the Project Semicolon book. It shows my name and lists the story as “In Memoriam.”

20170907_202404-1

Please consider purchasing this book for anyone you know who might find it useful and want to discover stories of courage, strength, and perseverance. Because like the ; stands for; their stories aren’t over yet.

Project Semicolon Book for Pre-Order

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Earlier this year, a story I wrote based on my journey, was selected for incorporation into the Project Semicolon: Your Story Isn’t Over book. The book, designed towards 18-25 year olds is a welcome read for anybody.

The book synopsis, according to HarperCollins, is the following:
“Project Semicolon: Your Story Isn’t Over reveals dozens of new portraits and stories from people of all ages talking about what they have endured and what they want for their futures. This represents a new step in the movement and a new awareness around those who struggle with mental illness and those who support them. At once heartfelt, unflinchingly honest, and eternally hopeful, this collection tells a story of choice: every day you choose to live and let your story continue on.”

Learn more about Project Semicolon by visiting: http://www.projectsemicolon.com

The book doesn’t publish until September 5, 2017, however, it’s available now for pre-order from HarperCollins as well as other locations (listed on their website) in paperback and e-book.

https://www.harpercollins.com/9780062466525/project-semicolon

Project Semicolon: Your Story Isn’t Over!

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In June of 2016, I submitted a story through Project Semicolon for publication into a book that’s being designed to relate to young people 18-25 years old. According to the original email before I wrote and submitted my story told us this, “We have joined forces with HarperCollins to bring forth a book with stories and pictures of those who found the hope to continue their story. This book is being designed to be relatable to young adults in the age range of 18-25 years old. We are asking that all stories when written keep that age range in mind”. My story did just that and included the name of my book, That’s All I Got! Thrival: A Widow’s Journey After Suicide, because a lot of young people deal with suicide on a regular basis, especially when dealing with the pressures of college and the military.

I hadn’t heard back from Project Semicolon about my submission that is until Thursday night, February 9, 2017. I received an email from HarperCollins with a subject line of: “Your story has been selected for the Project Semicolon book!”. To quote the email, “Together with Project Semicolon, we are writing to let you know that your story has been selected to be included in our upcoming book, PROJECT SEMICOLON: YOUR STORY ISN’T OVER! HarperCollins is publishing the book on September 5th later this year. We are very excited to be including your submission, and we are grateful for the time and effort you put into creating it—you are helping to spread an incredibly important message all over the world…Please keep an eye on Project Semicolon’s social media in the coming months for more information on publication info, events, where you can purchase a copy of the book, and how you can tell people about this amazing project”.

It’s very exciting news! It’s also proof that patience and perseverance pays off. I’m looking forward to hearing more about the book in the coming months and I’ll share that information. Project Semicolon’s mission via their Facebook page is “Project Semicolon is a global non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and love for those who are struggling with mental illness, suicide, addiction and self-injury. Project Semicolon exists to encourage, love and inspire”. I encourage you to look it up and share its mission.

Always Available

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Yes, there’s black Friday, small business Saturday, and Cyber Monday, but did you know, “That’s All I Got!” is available every day online or in person? Why not invest in it for yourself or someone else that may benefit or to have a different type of read.

Once you’ve read it, I would love for you to post a review of it on Amazon.com and let myself and others what you think of it and how it benefits others. Thank you in advance.

https://thatsalligotbook.com/order-here?iframe=true&theme_preview=true

Why I do what I do

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If someone asked me: why do I write? why did I write a book? and why do I share my journey? I’d tell you the following.

Everyone at some time in their lives has required healing. Many people have qualifications to assist in healing. I help to heal from experience.

Some may think it’s difficult to discuss my journey and at first, I thought so too. It took a long time to talk to people without crying or getting into a lot of detail. I remember it took over a year, to utter the word widow and that’s when I was in counseling. The second time I used widow was during a discussion I had with my first chiropractor, Dr. Drew, and he was the first male stranger (at the time) that I shared my struggles with and I didn’t shed a tear. Talk about a milestone in my journey. Even now, while discussing certain topics I may become teary-eyed, but that’s almost always due to memories.

I want to educate others on what I know about traumatic grief. It’s important that I share my journey to reveal there’s a light at the end of a dark tunnel following tragedy. Part of my “job” consists of preventing innocent lives from being lost due to the completion of suicide. I would like other people to learn about mental illness because education is a life line.

The other day, a friend of a friend posted on Facebook about losing a friend to suicide over the weekend. I know what she’s dealing with so I reached out to her. I let her know that she could reach out to me because grief and emotions take a long time to heal.

This afternoon/early evening, I hosted a spot at a health fair sponsored by my chiropractic clinic, along with my book, That’s All I Got!. While I only sold one book, I shared many more conversations. Almost everyone I spoke with knows someone who lost their life to the completion of suicide. Some conversations were about mental illness. A few people knew today is World Suicide Prevention Day or that this week is National Suicide Prevention Week. I shared what today meant with a few vendors and each said, “I should know this” and “why don’t I know this?”. I opened their eyes to something they didn’t know. Yes, I wished I had sold more books, but a conversation I had with my current chiropractor that revolved around what really matters, reminded me why I do what I do. Thank you Dr. Steven for the reminder.